Before the Carpet...

brooklyn got her purple carpet and she "WUVS IT!" She was already kicking matt out of her room within 5 minutes of seeing her new carpet. ;oP

moving day is tomorrow!!!!

Step-Mom

As I sit here and reflect

on the Life I live today,

So many nagging questions

and things I wanna say.

Such as, when you were my age

Just marrying my dad...

I bet life seemed so wonderful,

Your future didn't seem too bad.

I too walked in so blindly

as I said my wedding vow,

If only I had known then-

All that I do know now.

You too might have thunk twice

When taking on this fatherly man,

Becoming a heart broken step-mom

I'm sure was not your plan.

I hope you didn't feel "different"

Like a 3rd wheel to our club,

I hope you didn't feel stuck-up

as I too gave you the snub

I hope you didn't feel left out

as I gossiped behind your back.

I hope you didn't feel hated

As I fell off the good-girl track.

I hope you didn't feel ignored

when you gave a simple request.

I hope you didn't feel evil-

when all you did was your best.

I hope you didn't get tired

Of the back & forth mom game.

I hope you didn't hurt badly-

As we only called you your name.

I hope you felt included

Even though I didn't bother.
I hope you didn't feel blamed,

as I alienated my father.

I hope you never felt,

All these things I feel today-

As my own 2 step children

Keep pushing me away.

It's taken 20 years

But I think I get-it, I do.

You never had room to love me,

'Cause I never gave room to love you.

* * *

I wonder if we can do this

Start again, learn to love for reals,

'Cause I finally know what I did to you-

I finally know how a Step-mom feels.

My Mind

A mind full of problems

and full of solutions

A mind full of innocence

and full of pollution

A mind full of wonder

A mind full of doubt

A mind asking questions

Like, "What's life about?"

A mind full of EGO

and yet full of shame

A mind full "Crystal"

but with a new name

A mind full of him

and what he wants me to be

A mind full of Truth

I just wanna be me.

Can we just move now... PLEEEEEEASE?

So here I am, packing and cleaning up the house when we find out- we aren't set to CLOSE until July 24th. What?!?! We're SUPPOSED to be OUT of our house July 31st. How can we have time to:
a. Get the new house ready
b. Move our stuff INTO the new house
c. Get this house cleaned up

ALL by July 31st?

This means- we'll have to either BUST our bums REALLY fast or pay for another month here in the $1200 rent house. ugh.

I'm so ready to move- but then again, I'm kind of relieved.

Not moving also means- NOT STRESSING for another few weeks. I have more time to pack the way I wanna pack, (organized and without Jim over my shoulder) and I have a chance to do it at my own pace.

I'm excited to move, but I REALLY dread the headaches that this new house might give us. (Ask me to go into more details if you TRULY want to know what I mean by that.) But until then, wish us luck- this will be out 4th move in the last 6 years!