Step-Mom

As I sit here and reflect

on the Life I live today,

So many nagging questions

and things I wanna say.

Such as, when you were my age

Just marrying my dad...

I bet life seemed so wonderful,

Your future didn't seem too bad.

I too walked in so blindly

as I said my wedding vow,

If only I had known then-

All that I do know now.

You too might have thunk twice

When taking on this fatherly man,

Becoming a heart broken step-mom

I'm sure was not your plan.

I hope you didn't feel "different"

Like a 3rd wheel to our club,

I hope you didn't feel stuck-up

as I too gave you the snub

I hope you didn't feel left out

as I gossiped behind your back.

I hope you didn't feel hated

As I fell off the good-girl track.

I hope you didn't feel ignored

when you gave a simple request.

I hope you didn't feel evil-

when all you did was your best.

I hope you didn't get tired

Of the back & forth mom game.

I hope you didn't hurt badly-

As we only called you your name.

I hope you felt included

Even though I didn't bother.
I hope you didn't feel blamed,

as I alienated my father.

I hope you never felt,

All these things I feel today-

As my own 2 step children

Keep pushing me away.

It's taken 20 years

But I think I get-it, I do.

You never had room to love me,

'Cause I never gave room to love you.

* * *

I wonder if we can do this

Start again, learn to love for reals,

'Cause I finally know what I did to you-

I finally know how a Step-mom feels.