day 1, of bed rest

it's only 12:30 in the afternoon and i have to get up and go pee again for the 4th time already.

what is it about laying down that makes the bladder so weak? maybe it's because i can't wiggle and move and distract myself in bed as easily as i can when i'm up and about.

i feel like such a lazy slob laying here... donna's watching my kids, getting them their breakfast, lunch and now playing with them. the doc told me to stay in bed for 6 weeks yet, when i called her right now- she didn't even give a damn enough to speak to me directly. having edith answer my question for me and it wasn't even an answer. :o(

i'm so mad at that office right now, i'm considering switching primary doctors.

Not Over You... but it's too late to Apologize

If I could dive into my brother's heart and soul- I think he would find this 'masterpiece' of mine to be SPOT ON with his thoughts and emotions.

After 7 years of laughter and tears, his wife has decided to leave him to go 'find herself'. I hope it's just "THE ITCH" and she'll come back soon and make things right, but then again... sometimes it's just better to move on.

Photo Book

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The new way to make a photo album: photo books by Shutterfly.

The Magic Box (by Charissa)

HELLO!
Crystal here- I ran across an AWESOME story on someone else's blog the other day and I just had to share- this story reflects the way I see life and I hope I'm remembered as the 'lady with camera'- because, I'm always capturing moments. It's my way of appreciating LIFE and not taking the small things for granted. 'Cause I know, one day- when I look back at my life... I'm going to want to remember it. Aren't YOU?

Now of course, when I read this article- I smiled, then stopped what I was doing and hung out with my own kids for a few hours. I too sometimes forget that they will grow up way too fast before my eyes, but I do strive on a daily basis to cherish them and these priceless moments often. Okay- now, you can read Charissa's story (a fellow blogger who I'm proud to call my new PenPal. :)
Thanks again Charissa!
-Crystal


The Magic Box (by Charissa)
Growing up, my mom’s closet was full of boxes—orange & apple boxes, falling apart boxes…and a magical box. The magical box didn’t look special, except that it had circulation holes in it (I think it had once been an orange box). It was filled with old, unwanted toys my mom had grabbed from our rooms.

Amazingly, after a month or two in that box, all those stashed away junk toys became the objects of our desire. Magic!

I remember sneaking peeks with my brothers and sisters to see feet, eyes, wheels or fur of some toy through the holes of that charmed box. We’d sigh as we glimpsed those ‘treasures’ and wish we could get them out to play with again.

Time passed and those boxed-up toys became our obsession. We would beg Mom to please, please, PLEASEget those amazing toys out of that box. Life would not be fun until we could play with them…like in the good old days.

When she would finally relent, after weeks or months of pestering, the day would take on a “Christmas-like” state. We kids would take each toy out in wonder, our eyes lighting up as we oohed and ahhed. Life was perfect! We had the best toys in the world, and didn’t even notice Mom nonchalantly picking up the now ‘unwanted’ toys we’d cast aside.

She filled up the box again and stashed it back into her crowded closet…and the magic would begin once more. Time in the mystical orange box would change those toys’ status from “unwanted” to “favorite.” It never failed.

Thinking of that box now, I realize that the most precious things that surround us and make up our life can easily be overlooked and taken for granted if we’re not careful–just like I did with toys as a child. It’s human nature.

Spouses, family members, jobs, talents, abilities, our own bodies can be brushed over as nonessential or unimportant as we wish and obsess over what we DON’T or CAN’T have. That’s why so many marriages fall apart, why so many families crumble and disintegrate. That’s why there are so many unhappy people in the world who are wishing for the NEXT thing to make them truly happy.

What the lesson of the MAGICAL BOX teaches me is that things that might seem unimportant today—if TAKEN away—might become the most important things ever…things we yearn for once they’re gone.

What would happen if your annoying chatterbox child was suddenly taken from you in a horrible car crash? Or what if your spouse who ticked you off with a thoughtless remark was suddenly dying of cancer? Or you lose your eyesight, or can’t sleep anymore? There are millions of scenarios. Hopefully we don’t have to lose something important in our life to realize what we already had.

Blessings surround all of us—even the homeless man wandering the street. We just have to have eyes and hearts to see them. We don’t need a magical box to put our possessions in to regain value. The value is already there. Take a minute or so each day to REMEMBER everything you already have…and the magic will happen.

(This awesome story has been written by a fellow blogger at this address: http://joyinthemoments.com/2012/02/18/the-magical-box/)

My 30 Day Poetry Challenge - Day 28: "My Ex"

"Jeremy" (written 9-13-2004)

Caught up in a world

That's not too far away

Even though I'm next to you

Those quest games you still play

Why won't you find your balance

Why can't I find my home?

A place inside your heart

Is somewhere I shouldn't roam

You've become the one I can't talk to

You've become the one I despise

I've become the person you've always wanted

Even though I'm full of lies

As days go by I'm blinded

Of the good times we could be sharing

As hours go by you're gone

Those times you could be caring

Am I the victim

of a careless man?

Someone who claims to listen

and pretends to understand?

Would I be right in saying

That we'd be better off apart?

I'm not sure that you'd notice-

Would it really break your heart?

I know I might be controlling

To the point no one can tolerate

But at least I have a passion

to change the things I hate!

Please don't hate me for these feelings

For this anger I have towards you

But sometimes I honestly feel

like you don't really have a clue

Am I trying to change you

Changing to you is absurd

A minor small adjustment

An improvement is more the word

Just now you were in here

For a second I hoped you had seen

You were just as rude as before

Quiet, Soft but mean

When I say mean

what I mean is "cold"

You toughen your heart

You act oh-so bold

If only you'd listen to my thoughts

Like you listen to words you sing

But ignoring me hurts me more

It just worsens the deep sting

Would I have seen us falling this fast

if it were happening like this before?

I really thought our love would last

If you would've just opened the door.

I swear to you I'm not crazy

I swear to you I'm for real

I swear to you I'm not ridiculous

for having the feelings I feel

I feel that you're not grateful

for the wonderful spirit that is ME

I feel that one day you'll realize

That is was YOU who could not see

I'm confident, gorgeous,

silly and great

I'm a woman with curves

who's not overweight

I'm smart, ambitious and loyal

With eyes so attractive they're sad

'cause the only man I've ever wanted

Won't Love ME and for this I'm so called madd??

So now he says he's tired

He's ready to call it a day

He'll turn off the lights

Go to bed and hit the hay

Do I pretend that I'm alright

Go to bed and say I'm fine?

Even though I do still love him

I'm just not sure I can lie this time.

My 30 Day Poetry Challenge - Day 23: "My Brother #1"

"Chris & Jackie" (written July 2011)

I suggest she get a job

But he says she’s needed here

Because of his diabetes

Her excuse to work is fear

Okay, that’s fine- just dandy

You two are perfect for each other

But don’t you two remember

You’re a father and a mother

You both talk about the energy

That you don’t wanna show your kids

But don’t you realize that’s what you’re doing?

Your FEARS and THOUGHTS is all there is?

She has her strengths and weaknesses

Being your ‘assistant’, wife and nurse

It’s too much for just one person

It’s the marriage and business curse

If you were to let her go

Say just 20 hours a week

You’d see a happier wife

And a happier wife you do seek

But like she keeps inviting

It’s the ‘fear’ of you being alone

Or the ‘fear’ that you’d be cheating

That’s why she stays at home

It sounds like (at least to me)

That if you two addressed these fears

You can have rich, fulfilling lives

For another 5, 10 years

Constantly being together

Is just a ticking, ticking time bomb

Your kids deserve a balance

Of a happy dad and mom.

The solution (I see) is simple

Fear not -of affairs and death

Open your mind to possibilities

That’s the case- that I do rest.

My 30 Day Poetry Challenge - Day 22: "My Sister #1"

“COLISSA” (written Nov 23, 2011)

I ask- Where did my sister go?

So very far away-

‘Cause even though she’s closer

She’s changed from night to day

She sees the world so differently

-more bitter than before

Talking “FACTS” and only “FACTS”

The human soul- no more

I hear her speak of “burdens”

“big messes” and “fuck ups”

She’s talking about our mother

Now who’s the one fucked up?

Ok –sure- yes its sad

Mom brought this on herself

But where is your compassion?

Mom needs love and better health

There’s no use to throw your anger

Give out love and a pinch of care

NO ONE WANTS to deal with sadness

But don’t reject what’s really there

Yes, at first- I rolled my eyes

I Pretended not to think

“How could our mom go to Keith’s house

and take another drink?”

Rage, pissed off and some anger

I felt all of these too

But then- I thought, “She’s HUMAN”

That’s when I grabbed some tissue

She has a drinking problem

and almost killed herself

But I think she wants a better life

I KNOW she chooses health

When I spoke to our mother

The Truth is what I spoke

I told her I wasn’t ok

but I did not sugar coat

But that does not give me the right

to turn off all my heart

I still show her compassion

while I still fall apart

It’s not as black and white

As “FACTS” or “ENERGY”

There is a small, fine balance

This balance we ALL seek

The time for being honest

Is when our mom can hear it

So now Colissa – let it out

JUST CRY, you’re so damn near it