Before the Carpet...

brooklyn got her purple carpet and she "WUVS IT!" She was already kicking matt out of her room within 5 minutes of seeing her new carpet. ;oP

moving day is tomorrow!!!!

Step-Mom

As I sit here and reflect

on the Life I live today,

So many nagging questions

and things I wanna say.

Such as, when you were my age

Just marrying my dad...

I bet life seemed so wonderful,

Your future didn't seem too bad.

I too walked in so blindly

as I said my wedding vow,

If only I had known then-

All that I do know now.

You too might have thunk twice

When taking on this fatherly man,

Becoming a heart broken step-mom

I'm sure was not your plan.

I hope you didn't feel "different"

Like a 3rd wheel to our club,

I hope you didn't feel stuck-up

as I too gave you the snub

I hope you didn't feel left out

as I gossiped behind your back.

I hope you didn't feel hated

As I fell off the good-girl track.

I hope you didn't feel ignored

when you gave a simple request.

I hope you didn't feel evil-

when all you did was your best.

I hope you didn't get tired

Of the back & forth mom game.

I hope you didn't hurt badly-

As we only called you your name.

I hope you felt included

Even though I didn't bother.
I hope you didn't feel blamed,

as I alienated my father.

I hope you never felt,

All these things I feel today-

As my own 2 step children

Keep pushing me away.

It's taken 20 years

But I think I get-it, I do.

You never had room to love me,

'Cause I never gave room to love you.

* * *

I wonder if we can do this

Start again, learn to love for reals,

'Cause I finally know what I did to you-

I finally know how a Step-mom feels.

My Mind

A mind full of problems

and full of solutions

A mind full of innocence

and full of pollution

A mind full of wonder

A mind full of doubt

A mind asking questions

Like, "What's life about?"

A mind full of EGO

and yet full of shame

A mind full "Crystal"

but with a new name

A mind full of him

and what he wants me to be

A mind full of Truth

I just wanna be me.

Can we just move now... PLEEEEEEASE?

So here I am, packing and cleaning up the house when we find out- we aren't set to CLOSE until July 24th. What?!?! We're SUPPOSED to be OUT of our house July 31st. How can we have time to:
a. Get the new house ready
b. Move our stuff INTO the new house
c. Get this house cleaned up

ALL by July 31st?

This means- we'll have to either BUST our bums REALLY fast or pay for another month here in the $1200 rent house. ugh.

I'm so ready to move- but then again, I'm kind of relieved.

Not moving also means- NOT STRESSING for another few weeks. I have more time to pack the way I wanna pack, (organized and without Jim over my shoulder) and I have a chance to do it at my own pace.

I'm excited to move, but I REALLY dread the headaches that this new house might give us. (Ask me to go into more details if you TRULY want to know what I mean by that.) But until then, wish us luck- this will be out 4th move in the last 6 years!

MOM!!! Mom! Brooklyn pooped in the baf tub!

As you can tell, this is how wonderful MY night has been so far...

Matthew jumps out of the bath tub screaming "Poopy head, Poopy head"... She was so ashamed, she jumped out of the tub too- putting her head in the corner.

I didn't yell at her, I just scooped it out with a cup and made her dump it into the toilet.

This is one of those moments I wanted to laugh outloud but had to look SOMEWHAT disappointed on my face... so I'll post it here- as one of those internal laughs that I never want to forget. :o)

Meatloaf Tacos

Here's my invention of tonight's dinner.

Jim planned to make Tacos tonight for dinner. He had the small deal of ground beef thawed and when he was still busy at 6:30, I decided to go ahead and cook the meat up for him.

But knowing our family, 1 little deal of meat ain't gonna be enough for our bellies. So, I got creative and ADDED to my skillet. I knew that the whole purpose of meatloaf in itself was to create MORE than there was available. So, I transfered the same concept to my taco dish. I threw the meat in the pan and added 2 eggs, (beaten) mixed with 1 cup of oatmeal. However, the oatmeal tub I had smelled stale... yup, expiration date was Feb 2011. Dumped that oatmeal and decided to add a pouch of instant maple syrup flavored oatmeal. (How weird, right?)

Uh oh- just noticed that the oatmeal is very WHITE compared to the ground beef, I need to flavor it with something dark so that it doesn't stand out... let's look in the fridge... ah-ha! Honey barbecue sauce! (Nope, nothin else...)

I mix it all together and take a big gulp as I say to myself, "I hope this will work.... what if they don't like it? What if they notice how 'different' it looks? Oh well.. too late now."

So I'm cookin along, I can smell the sauce burning off- the egg is starting to sizzle too. You know, giving the pan that burnt look. (ya, I know- 'cause it IS burnt Crystal!) I get the guts to take a taste... ohmigoodness! This ain't bad!

I run a spoonful of 'meatloaf' to Jim as he's workin on his car.

He likes it, he can taste the sauce but doesn't notice the oatmeal. (ha-ha!)

Ok, now for Trevor... he's my BIGGEST critic. (Even without saying a WORD, I can always tell when the boys don't like something... they make themselves something else!)

But we start to make up our plates, I explain that I put in bbq sauce and chili powder. Trevor gets himself at LEAST 3 tacos. Jim gets himself 4.

Once we're finished eating- Trevor can't stop complementing me on the taste of the beef! Over and over again, he said it in different ways. Making me feel pretty darn special. :o) I still haven't told them about the oatmeal, and I know if I did- they'd give me one of 'those looks'.

(I wish I took a picture of it, but failed to do so- we were all too hungry!) I did a google search right now and that's where this pic came from. MeatLoaf Tacos?!

So, here I thought I invented the idea, but I guess not!

There you have it, Crystal's version of meatloaf tacos- but for a 'real' receipe- try this: http://busycooks.about.com/od/groundbeefrecipes/r/Meatloaf-Tacos.htm

Brooklyn's 1st Pet

8:03am

oh no -

brooks up. and she's crying... one sec

lol okay lol

ok, i'm back- hey, what time is it there?

12:30

cool.- it's only 8:30 here.

sorry it took so long, brooklyn found herself a little pet last night. such a cutie-

really?what is it

a bug!

haha cute

she was walking on the floor and saw a little black water bug crawling on the ground. she stopped to kneel and check it out. once she realized how small and harmless it was- she started to talk to it. the last thing she said to it before matthew stomped on it was "oh, he really likes me!"

matthew stomped and stomped and stomped- brooklyn started freakin out. "no! no! no! my fwend! my wittle bug fwend! matt! no!"

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

thats so sweeeettttt

That's when I stopped matthew from destruction and to our surprise, the little bug was still alive and crawling! (thank goodness for carpet.)

so- to help her love him in 'safe conditions' we got a Tupperware bucket and scooped him up.

We gave him some rocks, some water- he seemed so scared but brooklyn was happy.

When it was time for bed, brooklyn let daddy keep the 'bugs home' on the dining room table. Brooklyn went to sleep with a smile on her face.

1st thing she did when she woke up was go downstairs to the table to get her bug.

I hear a wimper- and a cry, I go downstairs and see that she's lost her bug. She's looking all over for it as she calls his name "wittle bug! wittle bug! I'm right here! come back! peeeease?"

I get on the floor with her, I'm lookin too- knowing how much of a 'needle-in-a-haystack' this was gonna be.

to my surprise, we FOUND him! (or his brother maybe- in either case, she thinks it's him!)

So now, she's as happy as a clam, talking to him, sharing her little ponies with him. We gave him a little swimming pool made out of a Gatorade lid.

she's so cute and so loving. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to be a veterinarian when she grows up. :o)